3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
