Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
