C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
