i can't believe i had my finger in that
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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