I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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