I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
