addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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