my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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