i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
