Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
