Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
