just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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