Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
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She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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