Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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