Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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