I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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