I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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