he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
