Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize