so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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