Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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