wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
