6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
