the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize