Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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