well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
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I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
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I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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