When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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