is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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