is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
