the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
