it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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