so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
