and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm both gender and math confused
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
