I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
