I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize