Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
