The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
