If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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