just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
