I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
