if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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