saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
