Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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