Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
