This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
