Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
