Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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