marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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