I wannas sexs uuuuu
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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