its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
