The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize