He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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