Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
