everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize