he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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