So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
even my farts smell like vagina
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
