my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
