Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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