You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
sarcasm needs its own font
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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