the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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