honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
